Wedding Planning is the Absolute Worst

Being engaged was the bomb dot com. My proposal was all I could ask for and more. It may not have been at a fancy restaurant with a view of the Eiffel Tower against a setting sun, but it was a surprise, and that’s all I really wanted.

After the actual engagement, events flew by in a joyous blur. Jake and I both called our parents. I called all my closest friends. (One of whom burst into tears and it was the most endearing thing I think I will ever experience in my life.) And, of course, we carefully crafted a Facebook announcement. Not to mention the dozens of people in the weeks to follow who all wanted to A: touch my hand, B: look at my ring, and C: ask me how it happened for. Needless to say, I got very good at telling that story.

However, once all the initial celebrating was done, all of a sudden things switched from ‘congratulations!’ to ‘did you pick a date yet?’ The answer to which was hell no! I was finishing up my last semester of college and I didn’t even know where I was going to be living in a year. Even now, Jake is still talking of moving out of state around February and I’m still waiting to hear back about whether or not I’m admitted into grad school. How the hell is anyone supposed to plan a wedding when their day to day life is in such flux?

Well, the day came. I’d procrastinated for seven months, but now it was time to start planning. Part of me thought it would be fun. I can’t tell you how many hours I have logged carefully curating my Pinterest wedding board. And when else do you have an excuse to throw a huge, fancy party for all your friends and family? This should be amazing, and delightful, and fun experience.

WRONG.

Wedding planning is already one of the most stressful things I’ve ever done and I’ve only just started. I think I would rather write a ten page essay, about a topic I know nothing about, worth 90% of my grade, within the span of a single night, than plan my own wedding.

Not to say it was all bad. After two hours of searching though ‘rustic’ barns, tacky hotels, and run down convention centers, Jake and I finally found a suitable venue. The Madison Museum of Contemporary Art hosts weddings people!!!!!!! This would be an insanely perfect location.

All during high school I loved going there. I looked forward to the art club field trip every year. Whenever I was in Madison, I would find some excuse to go there. Actually, on Jake and I’s one year anniversary, we were in Madison to see a musical, and I tried to walk to the museum from the parking garage, in heels, through near blinding snow. Turned out I had no idea where we were, and I ended up leading us in the opposite direction of the museum, but the point is, this is a place that I love to pieces. I have so many fond memories of going there with friends to view beautiful art together. The chance to use the MMOCA as the venue for my wedding was an extraordinary opportunity. Not to mention the fact that our photos would be unspeakably stunning. (see above)

And get this: The venue was under budget by $250. I literally started screaming when I saw the price. Most venues are $2,000-$4,000 for a wedding. The Madison Museum of Contemporary Art is only $1,750 for both ceremony and reception. I was elated.

However, my palms started to sweat when I noticed the asterisk in the corner that read, “MMoCA has an exclusive catering contract with Fresco, the rooftop restaurant.” This didn’t necessarily surprise me, I mean when you have a caterer on site it’s almost rude to have an event there and not use them. But, I knew how expensive their food was, and I was terrified to see how much it would cost to cater an entire event.

I held my breath as I pulled up the pricing for the caterer. Was the dream of a rooftop, sculpture garden wedding right in the middle of downtown Madison, already over?

The catering is… pricey to say the least. At $60 dollars a head, I would be paying for everyone at my wedding to eat a VERY nice meal. Yet, it wasn’t unobtainable. Jake and I were planning on having a very small wedding and for a guest list of about 80 (including possible plus ones) the whole of the catering would cost $4800. Not cheap, but we could swing it if we really wanted too. (Mind you this price would not include booze, cake, or most tables and chairs.)

And just when I thought this whole thing was within grasp, that’s when I saw it. The pin in my ballon. The fly in my soup. The wine stain on my brand new white shirt.

“Minimum Cost: Friday-Saturday, $10,000-$12,000”

That’s right. In order to have them cater my wedding on a Friday or a Saturday, (really the only two acceptable days to host a wedding, especially with out of state guests) I would have to pay them at least $10,000. The food itself only cost $4,800! What am I supposed to spend an extra $5,000 on? Jake and I were hoping for a total wedding budget of $13,000-$15,000. That isn’t going to happen if we spent $10,000 on just food and drink.

Just as quickly as the dream of getting married on the roof of museum started, it ended. Dead in the water like a raccoon that underestimated the distance across a lake.

Hopefully this is just a way for the universe to say, “Hold on, we have a better wedding venue in store for you, Just wait and see!”

Kinda doubt it universe, but whatever. I guess I’ll trust you.

Jake and I will keep researching until we find a truly perfect venue. (Both aesthetically and fiscally) Until then, enjoy this inspiration picture from Pinterest. I love it so much. It gives me hope that no matter where Jake and I get married, it will be gorgeous.

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Photo Credit: April Look and Chloe Moore

 

Olbrich Botanical Gardens

One of my favorite things about living in Madison, it all the wonderful, free things to do. There are beautiful parks, phenomenal art museums, and many fun musical events. It seems like every weekend there is something going on. This is quite a change from when I lived in Green Bay. There, if you didn’t like beer or the Packers, you were plum out of luck.

Being in the gardens was lovely. I always love going there. Most of the time I go there with friends, but this was the first time I got to take my fiance, Jake. We had a blast together and I got some gorgeous photos.

The best part about the gardens is that they are different every time I go. This visit we saw a ton of succulents hidden everywhere. Including these ones nestled into a rock in the Sunken Garden.

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My favorite flowers are the shrub roses. I was so glad to catch them now. When I was there in May they weren’t in bloom yet, and now in September they don’t have much time left. Aren’t they so dainty and delicate?

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Of course a trip to the Thai Pavilion is always a treat. Can you believe this is in Wisconsin?

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Shout out to the man in blue for ruining my shot.

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The mosaic tile and the gold leaf etching are ever more stunning in person.

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The water features throughout the gardens were also breathtaking.

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Water Lilies!

Honestly, if the weather was a bit more tolerable, Jake and I would have stayed out longer and taken more pictures of the artwork and fountains. However, in reality it was 95 degrees out, and Jake and I were both dying in the heat after just an hour long stroll.

We will definitely return for an evening walk through the gardens, because there is a really cool art exhibition going on right now at the Olbrich Gardens. It’s called Glow, and while Jake and I were in the gardens we noticed all fiber optic lights and LEDs everywhere. During the day it looked kind of junky, but at night when it’s all lit up, I’m sure it looks incredible. I can’t wait to check it out.

 

Why Every Coffee Drinker Should Try a French Press

I am a self-admitted coffee addict. I’ve been drinking coffee since I was fifteen, and I’ve really stopped. In the past, I’ve used a standard coffee maker, Keurig, and I even tried a pour over once, but by far my favorite way to make coffee is using a French Press.

In order to brew coffee with a French press, first you place coffee grounds in the bottom of the glass. Next, you pour boiling water into the glass. Then, you place the top apparatus on the French press with the plunger up, and leave the water and coffee in the French press to brew as long as you desire. (Some people like to stir their coffee after they first pour in the water, but I don’t think it makes much of a difference.) After your coffee has brewed, slowly push down the plunger to force all the loose grounds to the bottom of the glass. Lastly, serve and enjoy your perfectly brewed coffee.

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Obviously I adore my French press. It is probably the number one thing I would bring with me if I was stuck on a desert island. (Second being a lifetime supply of coffee, and Third being a lifetime supply of books. I would be set for life.)

Here are the top 5 reasons any coffee drinker should consider trying out a French press.

1. More Caffeine

French press coffee is often given one of the highest caffeine rankings among brewing methods. Depending on how long you like to brew your coffee, you can alter this either higher or lower according to your preferences. The French press tends to draw more caffeine from the beans, because the grounds remain in contact with the water for a longer period of time. This is why a French press can give you a stronger brew than a coffee maker or a Keurig, which basically just past the water through the grounds as fast as possible.

2. No Waste

Another thing I really like about using a French press is that there is hardly any waste involved. Sure, you still have to throw out the grounds, but you don’t have to throw out a filter or a K-cup. I felt horrible when I was using a Keurig to brew my coffee. The K-cups they use a just so incredibly wasteful. Especially since I would easily go through two every morning. Not to mention the fact that K-cups are expensive as all get out. Save yourself some money, save the planet, and enjoy better coffee? No downside here!

3. Great Taste

Honestly, I think French press coffee tastes better than just about any other method I’ve tried. I REALLY love coffee. The smell. The taste. The whole package. Similar to the way a French press draws more caffeine out of the coffee grounds, it also draws out more of that rich coffee flavor. Compared to my French press coffee, coffee maker coffee is just ‘blah.’

4. Flexible Amount

This is more with regards to Keurigs. You don’t have to just brew one cup at a time with a French press. Depending on the size you buy, you can brew one cup or several. I suppose you still have the ability to brew one cup with a standard coffee maker, but I always feel bad wasting a coffee filter for just one cup of coffee.

5. Classy as Fuck

Last, but not least, French presses are absolutely fancy as fuck. Friends and family will all be super impressed with your brewing skills. I’m not joking, my mom was amazed the first time she saw me do it. And the best part is, it isn’t even hard! Pour the grounds, pour the water, let brew, and viola. Sure, you have to boil the water separately, so it’s one extra step, but with all the benefits, why the hell wouldn’t you?

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Photo Credits to CAFFEINEGALORE and STUMPTOWN COFFEE ROASTERS

My First Pair of Zenni’s

After hearing rave reviews from both friends and coworker, I decided to try out Zenni Optical. I was a little skeptical after hearing that there was more selection and great quality at a fraction of the price, but I figured it was worth a try. Let’s face it, even if it didn’t work out, at about $20 a pair I wasn’t going to lose out much by trying it out.

I had been planning on getting new glasses anyway. My last glasses were about four years old. Granted my prescription didn’t change that much, but the acetate frames were beat to hell.

I went online and was thrilled with all the styles to choose from. I like an interesting pair of glasses, and through Zenni, the choices are just about endless. I have a bit of a hard time finding glasses, because I have a small face. My pupillary distance (PD) is 56 which is about the lowest an adult frame can go. I usually only have a handful of frames that will actually fit my face, and usually these a frames made for awkward, growing teenagers. Inevitably I will hate all of these frames, and I will be left to choose whether I want a child’s frame that will be slightly too small or an adult frame that will be way too big. Through Zenni my selection was limited because of my small PD, but I still had ten fold the choices of what I did through a glasses store. Also, it was way easier to filter out the glasses that didn’t fit me using the online tools. In store I would have to check the tag of each pair of glasses individually. What a pain.

Through Zenni it was also really nice to have the Zenni Frame Fit tool. I uploaded a picture of myself, and was more or less able to “try on the glasses” in the picture. Was it perfect? No. Did it help me tell whether or not a pair of glasses looked good on me? Absolutely. Honestly, I was really nervous about buying glasses online. I was afraid I would like them online, and then they would look terrible on me in person. The Zenni Frame Fit tool helped me make an informed decision, and took away some of my online shopping anxiety.

All my life, I’ve been told I should only wear rectangular frames, because of the shape of my face. Nonetheless, I’ve never been able to look at a square, cat eye, or circular frame without a tinge of longing. I’ve always wanted to buy a more interesting frame shape. Rectangular frame are so dull, I bought my last pair in blend of five different colors just to make it palatable. I used to describe them to others as a “fiesta on my face.” They were a good pair of glasses, and their colorfulness suited my bubbly personality pretty well. The only problem with them is that I love to wear colorful outfits, and I can’t tell you how many times in the past I wore an outfit that completely clashed with my glasses. This time I was determined to get a neutrally colored frame that was still somewhat interesting in shape.

After searching high and low through Zenni Optical’s website, I found the perfect pair. They are a square frame with a black and white tortoiseshell pattern. I was terrified that even though they fit my PD, the square frame would still look too bit for my face. I was dying for a change, so went for it anyway, and they look stunning if I do say so myself.

Many people view wearing glasses to be a chore or to be downright embarrassing, but I have always loved wearing glasses. In my opinion, they are basically just jewelry for your face.  I have no interest in ever wearing contacts. Especially when my glasses make me look this cute. However, being a glasses wearer has not always been easy. It can be really costly and very hard to find a pair of glasses that you’ll want to wear everyday. Zenni has liberated me of the high prices and small selection of a traditional glasses shop. Now, I can find any shape frame, in any style, and still find something that will look good on me.

That’s not to say that there is no difference between my $30 Zenni’s and my $200 dollar traditional glass. I will say that my Zenni’s do not fit around the side of my head very well and they sit funny on my ears. At some point, I will probably have to go to an optometrist and pay to have them fitted properly. Also, I do have a lot of glare off these glasses. Of course, I could have upgraded to get an anti-glare coating on my Zenni’s, but I didn’t, because I wasn’t sure whether or not I would like them. When I order from Zenni again, I will definitely splurge to get an anti-glare coating.

Another common complaint among Zenni buyers is that the glasses don’t last as long as traditional glasses. All I have to say about that is DUH! You get what you pay for. Plain and simple. If you want glasses that are perfect in every way and are going to last forever, go to an optometrist. If you want stylist glasses, that will get the job done, at an affordable price, shop at Zenni Optical. Honestly, for how much I paid for my last pair of glasses, I could have bought a new pair of Zennis about every year. Personally, I am a very style conscious person with a really weak prescription, so it is worth it to me to buy cheap, gorgeous glasses, and be able to switch things up about once a year.

All I can say is that I am so happy that I found Zenni Optical, and I cannot wait to go back and get a pair of prescription sunglasses next!

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Also, here’s a blooper pic of my cat photobombing me. You’re welcome.

 

My Hot, New Set of Wheels

Finally, my car shopping has come to a close. It was a long and arduous process, but I finally traded in my hand-me-down minivan for a sleek, new-to-me sedan.  To my complete and utter surprise, I ended up buying a 2012 Chevy Cruze with only 43,000 miles on it. Honestly, this car is way nicer than anything I  thought I would be buying. It gets 42 MPG highway, has bluetooth, fold-down backseats, a USB port, and a reeeaaaalllly cool switchblade key that I cannot stop playing with.

I just can’t believe what a difference it is between driving this car versus my old van. This car is so much smoother. It accelerates and decelerates with ease. You may be thinking to yourself, ‘What the hell is wrong with this chick? Shouldn’t it be expected that your car accelerate and decelerate easily.’ I would heartily answer yes, dear skeptic. Cars should accelerate and decelerate easily. My old minivan, however, did not. The van struggled to accelerate up to highway speed even on the longest ramp. I would inevitably be merging into traffic that was going significantly faster than me. Not to mention the fact that once I got going highway speeds, it was really tricky to stop quickly. There was just so much momentum in a heavy vehicle like that. In that vehicle, had far to many rear end close calls, and now that I drive during Madison rush hour everyday, with the constant ebb and flow of stop and go traffic, and near constant sudden stops, the whole minivan thing was not working out. To add to the joys of minivan ownership, I used to be able to tell how fast I was going in the van by the rumbly sounds coming from my engine and how much my steering wheel would shudder.Now, no more! My engine now is actually so quiet, I really don’t realize how fast I’m going. I have to watch my speedometer like a hawk, because it is way to easy to speed in this thing.

Did I mention the difference in fuel economy!? I used to spend about $80 a month on gas. Just one tank of gas in the minivan would reliably cost me $40. Didn’t matter if gas prices went up or down. My gas bill would always be $40 give or take a couple bucks. My gas bill will be cut in half with this new car, if not more. I am so unbelievably psyched for this. Just the savings in gas pay for about a third of my car payment. Sure, I’ll miss the ability to drive seven people and haul a dorm room’s worth of stuff, but I didn’t use that ability more than one or twice a year.

The experience of buying the car itself, however, not so smooth and effortless. The car salesman who was working with us was super nice to us in the lot, but it turned into a bit of a Jeckle and Hyde situation in his office. He got really angry with me when I tried to barter down the obviously jacked up price, and after we got to an acceptable price point he left us in his office for hours. We started the paperwork at 2pm in the afternoon and it didn’t end until after 5:30pm. Mind you this didn’t include the driving to Baraboo and back, the test drive, or the uncomfortable ‘let me show you all the features of your new car’ spiel after I had signed all the papers.

While sitting in an office for three and a half hours straight is never my idea of a thrilling Saturday afternoon, this was even worse, because I was freaking the fuck out the entire time. It’s just so scary to sign that paper that reads, you will pay X amount of money for X amount of years. A four year loan! I don’t know what I’ll want from a car in four years. I don’t know where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing. This car is perfect for me now. I love it. But what if it breaks down in the next four years? What if I get into an accident? The last thing I want is to owe money on a smoldering wreck of warped metal and busted glass. Granted that’s what insurance companies are for, but it’s also their business to screw over their customers. Let’s just say I’d rather not put all my eggs in that basket.

In all honesty my loan is not that bad. I was able to take way about a third of the final price with my sizely down payment, and I was able to knock it down a little more with the awesome trade-in value we got on the van. Granted fee and taxes took their toll on my overall loan, but all in all I only took out a loan on about half the value of the car. Also, as intimate and sexy as this is, I had a sinfully low APR through my credit union. Overall the total amount I’m going to pay from interest is about $300. Not to shabby if I do say so myself. Did this fact stop me from breaking out in stress hives while waiting in the car dealership? Hell no. Does it make me feel better now that I am my regular rational self? Of course!

After this entire experience, I can say it has been about as much fun as going to the gynecologist, but I am super proud of myself for taking the initiative, doing the research, and closing the deal. I’m walking away with a gorgeous car in great condition at a steal of a price. Although the whole first time into debt thing was painful as hell, I’m happy with my loan and I’m glad I could go through the process before I into more serious debt like a mortgage or master’s student loans.

Quotable Quips

This has been a surprising quotable week. Between nerves over my graduate admission, the stress of car shopping, and the normal levels of silliness I maintain, the words that stumbled out of my mouth this past week were quite curious.

For example…

  • “Squeal all you want! You are demon spawn!”
  • “Just add that to my lunacy tab.”
  • “Jake! Kitty is a tease.”
  • “I know you can’t see it, but I’m flipping you off right now.”
  • “You have to shoot a rainbow out your ass to propel you across the finish line. The rainbow itself is made out of pure love…and sparkles.”
  • “Suck my big hairy balls. You are not eating any of my muffins.”
  • “Alexa stop! You unhelpful cunt.”
    • For those of you unfamiliar with the newest and latest in tech novelties, Alexa is the name for an Amazon Dot. All she does is listen to everything we say, make timers, tell us the weather, and yell at us that she doesn’t know what we want from her. She’s annoying as hell, but Jake got her for free at a tech conference, so why not? (Also, she tells me the weather waaaaay faster than Jake.)
  • “Kitty doin’ that swanky walk.”
  • “Grey potatoes don’t exist!”
    • Jake and I actually got into a HUGE fight over this.
  • “Do you get a commission from the vet?”

 

This weeks challenge, guess how many of this week’s quotes pertain to the cat. Hint: it’s more than you think.

 

Photo Credit: This Quotable Quips picture was taken by yours truly, and beautifully edited by none other than my fiance, Jake.

(No, for you information our lives to not revolve around our cat.)

(We lie. We are enslaved by the cuteness of our cat.)

(Please don’t save us.)

The Inspirational Horrors of the Green Bay Metro

Here’s another sneak peak of the novel I’m working on. The progress is a bit slow. I’m trying to pump out a measly chapter a week. In reality, it’s closer to a chapter every two weeks, but regardless I am chugging along with it. This is the first long term writing project I’ve ever worked on. It’s not always easy going. The chapter before this I had crazy writers block. I couldn’t figure out how I could bring my story from where it was to where I wanted it to be. I had to find another part of the story to tell to bridge the gap between Mary and Lucy first meeting, and their first fight. It was a downright painful process, but I finally found the perfect tangent to use in the meantime before the big fight.

The scene involves Mary taking her first public bus ride ever on her way to her first classroom field experience as a pre-service teacher. She is super excited to work with real students for the first time, but she is also extremely nervous about getting lost or being late on her first day. She ends up finding public transportation to be a less than user friendly experience. Here is a snippet from that chapter that I am especially proud of. In this snippet Mary is describing a group of middle schoolers that are riding on the bus. She is watching them out of the corner of her eye, because she is trying to use them as a cue for which stop to get off at, since she is unsure of where she is and which stop she wants.

 

Section from Chapter Nine of Unapologetically Human

            The backseat middle schoolers rise in a clump that is simultaneously gregarious and riotous. A bit of a paradox, but then again what part of middle school isn’t a contradiction? They swagger shuffle towards the narrow bus door where they attempt to depart as a single entity, however, once they discover this is an impossible task, they resign themselves to the notion that they must brave their reentry into the real world as individuals. Terrifying.

 

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The sixteen pages I’ve written so far isn’t much, really it’s a drop in the bucket compared to a full blown novel, but I’m honestly really proud of what I have done with this already. It started out as me having an idea in the middle of the night, and scratching down five pages in my notebook by lamplight. All it was was two characters having a disagreement. They didn’t even have names. I furiously scribbled down dialog without any real concept of who these people were. Now here I am, and I really can’t even believe I’m already through nine chapters. Granted none of the chapters are very long, but that’s still nothing to sneeze at. I can’t wait to see where the rest of the book takes me. The best parts of this story are yet to come, and I honestly think it will be fantastic.

 

PS- Yes, this story is inspired by real like events. I was once that idiot totally lost on the Green Bay bus, looking to middle school students for guidance. For the record, it turned out fine. Middle school students are reliable in only one aspect: showing up to middle school.

Packing for Persnickety Bitches

It took me an ungodly amount of time to pack for my trip to Baraboo last weekend. I only needed two outfits, but they HAD to be the perfect two outfits. I was going to be seeing people who I only see once or twice a year, and I was going to be photographed. A lot. And every single one of those photos were going to be uploaded straight onto the interwebs for everyone and their brother to see. I had to make these outfits count. I don’t post many pictures of myself on online, so that weekend was at least half of my Facebook photo quota for the year. These clothes had to make a statement. They had to make me look like a glowing, confident twenty something, who has nothing but good things ahead of her. This distracts people from realizing that I am actually near panicking about A: whether or not I will get into grad school, B: how the hell I will afford grad school, car payments (did I mention I’m getting a car?), and other miscellaneous things humans need to survive i.e. food, and C: whether or not I am making any good life decisions at the point in time. Despite all this, I wanted to look like the essence of poise and self-assuredness. I’m pretty proud of my selections, and I’ve developed this tool for all other badass people out there looking to pick out their weekend redemption outfits. Also, it’s probably the funniest flow chart out there. Enjoy.

Weekend in Boo-Town

This past weekend I hopped into my ruby-red-lipstick minivan (you know, for the mom who tells herself she’s still “got it all going on”), and drove to my hometown of Baraboo, WI. My best friend since childhood, Oliver, decided it was about time that he graced us with his yearly visit back to his homeland of Wisconsin. So basically this weekend was a non-stop celebration of cheese, fried cheese (very different), and, of course, the traditional, Wisconsin Old Fashioned.

I also had the pleasure of spending some quality time with my adopted sister, and biological twin, Emma. Oliver, Emma,  and I had so much fun drinking together, discussing life’s most pressing questions, spilling secrets, and engaging in customary small town gossip. We also had a few moments of time left over to adventure a little.

The whole fam (ps- I’m an honorary Horjus.) went out to the Wollersheim distillery in Prairie du Sac. Oliver’s mom gives tours there on the weekends, and she treated us to the delight of watching her perform, while we snagged a few drinks of course. *over exaggerated wink*

Honestly, I’m not one much for sipping hard liquor neat, so I was a little nervous about how much I would actually enjoy a distillery tour. I figured there would at least be a couple that I would have to forcibly choke down. However, to my welcomed surprise, it was incredible. The liquor was fantastic. There wasn’t a single thing I tasted and didn’t love.

The huge stills used to create the alcohol were also really interesting. I was really an eye opening experience into just how much work it takes to ferment vats of fruit, and distill them down into something consumable, much less tasty. I think my favorite part of the tour, besides the sampling obviously, was hearing about how dangerous chemicals, such as acetone, are removed from the fermented slew. It definitely gave me more respect for the brewing profession. If they slack on the job, all of a sudden your cocktail turns into chemical throat burns.

Afterwards, we had the most delicious cocktails. My favorite liquor that I sampled was the gin (which just floored me, because I have never liked gin in my life), so I got a gin and tonic mixed with a raspberry rose puree. It was called a Rose Garden, and Emma graced me with the best compliment I have ever, and will ever be given. She told me, “Of course you ordered that, because you are a rose garden.”

I almost teared up with joy.

We all sat outside on the patio and enjoyed our fancy cocktails. We chatted and traded glasses to enjoy another sampling of what the distillery had to offer. Yet again, to my absolute amazement, I actually liked Emma and Oliver’s Old Fashioned’s better than my Rose Garden.

Honest to God, I don’t even truly believe what happened next. Oliver, Emma and I returned to the distillery for the sole purpose of buying a bottle of brandy. This is insane. I was literally on the ground of a winery, and I bought brandy instead.  That evening the three of us drank the it neat. I was just sucking down brandy like there was no tomorrow. It was so damn good.

If, in the morning, you had told me I would be drinking brandy straight from the bottle that very evening, I would have called you a liar.

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The best brandy I’ve ever had. Not that that means much. I’m not exactly a connoisseur of brandy.

The next day we ended up lazing around the house, perusing old yearbooks, and discovering the utility of dry shampoo. Of course, everyday in the Horjus household is a non-stop thrill ride, so we spent the better half of the afternoon…

Wait for it…

I want you to guess…

Really, I mean it…

I won’t tell you until you guess…

Fine. I’ll tell you anyway.

We built a model car.

I was reluctant at first. Given my history with activities of this nature, it might not have been the best idea. In the past, instruction pamphlets have been known to trigger me into fits of spontaneous rage, but it truly was adorable watching these two bond over their almost compulsive need for order and structure.

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Oliver and Emma having the time of their young lives.

See! How cute!

Also… for no reason whatsoever… I wasn’t allow to touch the glue.

 

Featured Photo Credit: Anne, Arms-So-Long-He-Doesn’t-Need-a-Selfie-Stick, Horjus

Quotable Quips

Once again enough time has elapsed and enough crazy shit has been said to warrant another Quotable Quips post. (Trademark pending…but not really, because I don’t know how to do that.) However, this time there’s a twist! These are not just quotes I’ve said. They are also quotes that I’ve heard Jake say throughout the week. So now not only can you try to guess the context, but even who said what. Trust me, some of these wouldn’t have even guessed Jake would say out loud. Happy speculating!

  1. “Paint me like one of your French kitties.”
  2. “This is why I have a fiance, because I can’t see my elbows.”
  3. “There is a kitty who’s very bitey, and he looks like he snorted a bunch of cocaine.”
  4. “I feel like it’s plugging into my brainstem.”
  5. “Kitty! Be my backup dancer! I need to throw down some fresh rhythms, and I need that shakin’ kitty booty.”
  6. “Do I have to…you know…cut him open?”
  7. “Is someone strategically loafin’?”
  8. “Did you hear that kitty? He doesn’t care about me or my sensititties.”

Again, feel free to comment what the context of the quote was or who said it. Who knows, maybe you’ll win a prize if you guess right. *wink wink*

Also, once again the cat proved to be the most interesting part of Jake and I’s lives. So he gets the featured spot again, that little shit.

 

Photo credit and edit: the multitalented Jake Labeots.