Fourth of July Fiasco

So although I kept things low key for my actual birthday, I still did want a night where I could let loose a little bit with my friends. With working such long and hard days as a canvasser, and trying to look for a new job in what little free time I do have, I really needed to blow off some steam. Kevin and his boyfriend Ryan drove up from Iowa, and Sabrina and Alyssa picked out the most “happenin” bar in Madison. They found one that had a DJ with no cover charge,  $1.50 rail drinks, and buy one get one shots. Needless to say, we had some pretty high hopes for the evening. However, Kevin and Ryan showed up an hour late. Not to mention, Ryan was drunk as a skunk before we even hit the bars. He decided to pre-game with ten shots of blackberry brandy mixed with Pepsi. He was drinking the entire ride to Madison. By the time I saw him, he was ready to flip off a cop and scream out the window at anyone bold enough to be on the sidewalk. Once we all finally got to the bar, we all ordered a rail drink and started dancing. We were all having fun dancing and singing along to all the songs, when some creepy guy asked me to dance with him. Usually I would be fine dancing with anyone, at least for one song, but this guy held his hand out like he was going to pull me away somewhere away from my friends. I didn’t want to get separated from my friends with some guy I didn’t know, so I told him no thank you, and tried to go back to dancing with my friends. Some people don’t take rejection very well though. Creepy guy lingered next to me for over ten minutes. I tried to flash my engagement ring at him a couple times to make him feel better so he would go away, but he didn’t give up until I started hard-core grinding up against Sabrina. For some reason engagement wasn’t a deal breaker, but possible lesbian was. Regardless, shortly afterwards we all headed to the bar for shots. Since it was my belated birthday celebration, my friends all required that I do two shots. Whatever Kevin ordered was tasty as hell, so only after a little resistance, I gave in and did the second one. Once that fun was over, we hit the streets to find a less crowded bar. After a long island iced tea and a shot, Ryan was not doing so well. He couldn’t really walk without help from friends. We all held our breath as we half-dragged him past some cops. All the while though, Kevin was just concerned about me. He kept asking if I was alright and was overly concerned over ever little stumble or slur. After a while I snapped and told him that I could be black-out drunk and I would still run circles around him. (Which is only partially true.) Finally, we got to the Nitty Gritty. First order of business was getting Ryan some water. We got him a glass, but he refused to drink more than a sip. Then, all of a sudden, Ryan bolts away from all of us. At the time, I was too drunk to notice/care, but it turns out Ryan ran outside and the bar staff wouldn’t let him re-enter. Once Alyssa communicated the problem to us, Sabrina and I both chugged our drinks, and we all headed to Ian’s Pizza to try and get Ryan to eat something. I swear, nothing in this world beats macaroni and cheese pizza when you’re drunk. It tastes like cheesy gold in your mouth. It’s just not the same when you’re sober. We all ordered a slice, but Ryan refused to eat anything. At the very least, he did use the bathroom at this establishment. We sent Kevin in with him, because we couldn’t trust Ryan to pee on his own. Once inside, Ryan unzipped his pants and decided he wanted to give Kevin a kiss. During this kiss, Ryan proceeded to pee all over Kevin’s pants. Shortly after, we all left to head towards Alyssa’s apartment. There we could keep Ryan from running away again (as he tried to make another escape attempt from Ian’s) and Kevin could change out of his soiled pants. All along I was hoping it would be my chance to be the drunk one that everyone takes care of, but despite my efforts, Ryan beat me to the punch. Overall, not my worst night out. At least I got some pretty great stories to share.

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